The waking hours

Matter is for the hatter

2009-02-25T21:35:00.000-08:00

BEAT BOOM RUN
by: MEA VERONICA PINA
You know whats on the inside
its something i denied
the fire thats burning and flaming
is nothing more of clues i am aiming
there all over the place, sending you secrets
of the silence shuffling regrets
grinding my teeth and yelling to the world wont help
its like an isolated yelp
pounding, drumming, tapping, lying
i see your hiding something that your implying
confusion, yelling, throwing of the towel
i lost all respect for you because of how you went on a prowl
stomp, crush, lust, BOOM
your nothing more of a liar i assume
take your lying, hiding, confusion
and go find someone else who will except the illusion
messing, playing, shunning,
whatever, i rather go running
leave me alone and ill watch the days fly
Forget you i rather keep on being shy
Come on tell me what goes on deep inside
let me hear you from all that you decide
it hurts, it breaks, it chatters, and quakes
Your making me feel as a simple mistake
Please i love you and youll never understand
how much it hurts from what you demand
I followed you through out my years
and ill honestly say you have become my biggest fear
it doesnt matter if i breathe or die
youll just say whatever and leave with no goodbye
how could something bad still not be good
when you said you hate me i think i misunderstood
sunset, sunrise,
and life with no suprise
you hated me with your eyes that despise
its funny that i believed all your lies
you left this mark on my chest
right above my left breast
disappear and learn to look for love
but how can i find it when im never above
im either down, or one tad almost there
but i can tell you toxicated my air
Watching me with your daring smile
as if i am some sort of hostile
i lost my heart, something i miss
You know who you are, your were my favorite bliss

Who are you?

2009-02-14T21:08:00.000-08:00

I dont really know who you are
but you think exactly like me
with words so sharp and vision so clear
fighting through and through.
Noticing the same things i do
who are you?
You know exactly where i am getting at
with a mind so obstinate trying to proselytize those thoughts
trying to triumph your way through
dont give it a rest no matter what they say
keep going ill be right behind you trying to accredit
those minds...determined person you are
trying to push through those force fields and shields,
we can push together. ill be the honest cohort you want
ill be your friend in the darkest hour
ill be the one to show you what doors to jump straight into
ill even show you what standing on a hill with the wind pushing
through your body, leaving tingling sensations along the way
feels like. I can be the companion you waited for,
dont worry little one, ill be the one to take down those walls
and show you that you can keep pushing along the way
youll win in the end, as long as you dont abdicate your words
Give me a chance to prove them counterfactual and ill give you
a chance to prove me wrong, show me your mind and
ill show you that your not being bothersome.
Its hard to trust, i get it, but its not hard to see what you
really could be, so come on and lets see
if you really do put up a good battle and ill help you
with this prattle

DNA CODING

2009-02-14T21:06:00.002-08:00

My name is Mea Jene, I was born in a small town unknown to any living person. I was raise to adumbrate where I was born and what my true age was. Hiding in concealment was my best ability. Noone would truely know who I was, I truely had no idea of my origin. My idea of fun was doing contemptible things only knowing that it was wrong. I try to figure my bona fide identity by trying out different things. For example:1) Did I enjoy the taste of ice cream2) What were my favorite books3) And what were my best comrades namesI blinked several time in my household, trying to figure out if this is were I truely reside. I dreamt every night that my name was Veronica and I was born in Vegas, and I enjoyed things from ice cream to books, to even knowing my best friends names. But I always woke up when I wanted to learn my true birthplace. I sweated out my fear and repeated the images I saw from my dreams. My dreams felt so vivid and real like I can almost touch my identity, but I could never truely grasp it. I wanted to push my tears back, I didn't even know my true weakness. I had family that I knew deep down inside were my step family, not even apart of I could be. My "aunts" would smother with love and clothes, my lola would spoil me clothes only the best from Japan. But they knew I was not their own, and I knew in my heart they weren't my blood. My 17th birthday was nothing to my family, except for one boy named AJ who brought me hot chocolate on May 29 and wrapped a blanket around me to keep me warm. He had a gentle smile and I was jealous that he knew who he was.Searching for my identity I found out that I couldn't even know how to be outgoing, I tried but somehow I made everything awkard to most people. I didn't even know how to love the real me. But I loved the Veronica, but i never truely loved Mea Jene. When I was a kid I spent some of my days fighting with my sibilings and crying because I was the black sheep. I pictured Mea Jene to be wonderful and have a great life where she would be somehow loved. Mea Jene is my name, its the real me, but I didn't even know who she was. I loved Veronica, but did I really want to accept the fake identity. I wanted to be Mea and grow up knowing that was my real name, instead of taking up a fake name. My friends all know Veronica but they have no idea of Mea, they never meet her. Where was she born? Is her true age 17? Does she like purple or black? Was I born in America or somewhere else? Who knows Ill never crack Mea Jene's code

Frozen Solid

2009-02-14T21:06:00.001-08:00

Standing out in the frigid cold, head slightly tilted looking for a red car. Body shaken and frozen from the night air, and doubt settling in my chest. I breath a sigh seeing my breathe turned icy cold. I turned to my left and watched adults and children walk by. I wait outside can't think at all. I wait for the car to pick up the note for the doctors. It's 9:00 p.m. and the wind seemed to blow a little harder, sending me to take steps back. I look down at the ground trying to see how well I could spot some sort of insect in this cold. Than I hear a car zoom down the street, and my heart drops. It's not the red car but a car I knew all to well. It carried my three sources of life. My heart gave way to such betrayal as I watch the car carefully drop off each individual. It was not fair, that here I stood on broken ground, while they were comfortable listening to probably alternative music. I was in the freezing cold, with no hope, no light, and no one in sight and there they were all smiling and laughing because of their "swell" time. They mocked me and broke me, and did not care to think that I have no more time. I finally see the red car tears filling the brim of my eyes, gave my dad the note to the doctors and walked back inside only feeling more of a person who couldn't be identified. No I don't have an identity but I do know who loves me and who could care less about me. I shall not tremble in fear but only tremble from the cold, for I waited for my three sources of life as they drove past me with their laughter.

The Waking hours sonnet

2009-02-14T21:04:00.000-08:00

In the waking hours the ocean will rise,
Do thou not see the awroke of the sea?
Ocean stays away from, I would advise
It shall crush thou into the abime glee
Thither shall be ways to dodge the debris
I shall seek a way to gaud the mere storm
I beseech thee to end the sea banshee
Was I not right that the sea changes form
Altering its moods from cold to mild warm
This ocean is out to claim purity
Can this body of water be reform?
Shall it still startle with obscurity
Haven’t I sailed your oceans with such blend
Why such hatred bestowed upon me my friend?